Nesting Arrangements

Going through a divorce is a major change in a person’s life. It can take an immense toll on one’s emotional wellbeing especially once the divorce proceedings have commenced. There are a number of steps that must be taken and decisions that must be made during a divorce, which can seem overwhelming. One of the first decisions is often determining who will continue living in the former family home and who will have to move out and obtain their own residence. This decision can sometimes be very difficult where neither person wants to leave, or perhaps where neither person can afford to leave, especially when considering the high cost of living in Santa Clara County. It can also make matters more complicated where minor children are involved. Having an experienced San Jose divorce lawyer can be invaluable in the early stages of a divorce. The right family law attorney will be able to help you make important decisions such as these.

In recent years, there has been a new trend where separating spouses decide to enter into a “nesting” arrangement. The general idea of a nesting arrangement is that the parties take turns living in the home such that they alternate who has to live outside the home on a certain day/week. In most cases, a nesting arrangement is adopted when there are young children in the family. The reason some parents choose to agree to a nesting arrangement is they do not want to have to put their children through further changes by requiring them to shuttle back and forth between two separate homes. Rather, it puts the responsibility on the parents to shuttle themselves between residences. Many parents who incorporate a nesting arrangement view the schedule as beneficial because it allows the children to maintain stability in their life during a time where their family is going through significant changes. In theory, the children can come home to their family home where all of their belongings are, and where they are most comfortable and familiar. Some might ask where the other parent goes when it is not their turn to stay in the former family home. This varies from case to case and depends on the circumstances of the family. Some parties choose to stay with a family member or friends, while others might choose to obtain a separate apartment/house even though they might only live there half of the time.

While some parents view a nesting arrangement as a great solution to a somewhat difficult problem, others find it to be too complicated to implement. For example, if a case is particularly high-conflict or involves a high level of distrust, a nesting arrangement might not be the best option. In such cases, a nesting arrangement can open the door to the parents arguing more often if they encounter one another on a day where it is time to “switch”. It can also lead to accusations of one parent “snooping” or damaging items while the other parent is out of the home. It is for this reason that a nesting arrangement truly is not for everyone and is something that should be discussed with an experienced divorce lawyer.

Here at Mello & Pickering, LLP, with our combined 40 years of experience in family law, we have helped guide several clients through cases where a nesting arrangement is discussed and sometimes implemented. Our team of experienced San Jose divorce lawyers will help ensure that you and your family receive the highest quality service possible throughout your divorce and/or custody/visitation case. Call our office for your free consultation.